KENNETH D. MICHAELS

I stood at my mark under the blazing hot lights of the studio
soundstage, took a deep breath and waited for the director’s signal that I’d be live. I felt like I was at the top of the peak, tipping point brink of the Gigantic Hill Plunge.
     The red light on the nearest camera blinked on.
     Action!
I stared into the lens as if making eye contact with everyone in every single kitchen, living room and bedroom in Chicago.
     “Welcome to The Gay Detective. My name is Nick Scott and I am your host. Gentlemen, keep your whispers low. No squeaking or wisecracks allowed. Ladies, calm down.”
     “I am, in fact, a detective in the Chicago Police Department, First District Central,” I went on, as smoothly as I could, “and each week I’ll be interviewing a well-known personality, who also happens to be gay. Since I’m new to this kind of work, and I’m referring to the interviewing not my sexuality…” I paused for a big smile I’d rehearsed in a mirror an hour ago, and was relieved to hear a smattering
of chuckles in the small studio audience, “… I don’t plan on
quitting my job as a full-time detective anytime soon.